Thursday, April 23, 2015
Hello, this is Microsoft calling
This is the true story of a poor, Northwest housewife that I'm married to, being taken advantage of by a professional, scripted telephone scammer. The names have only been changed to expose the guilty.
(Amy recognizes area code, gets excited)
(picks up phone)
Not Microsoft: (thick Indian accent) Yes, hello ma'am. I am calling from Microsoft support to tell you our systems show your computer is currently being hacked and we would like to assist you to prevent it.
Amy: Omg! My what's being hacked?!
Scammer: Your computer, ma'am, if you could just...
Amy: Omg! What do I do?!
A-hole: Just go to your computer now and power it on and I will walk you through the...
Amy: I don't know how to!
Jerk: No, I mean just turn it on and I can...
Amy: I don't know how!
Flustered Jerk: Ma'am, your computer is being hacked and if you would just power it on and...
Amy: You're not listening to meee! I don't know how to use a computer! I don't know how to turn it on!
Jerk Scammer: You don't use the computer? Then, who does?
Amy: My children do!
Butthead: Your children? Ok, is one of them available that might...
Amy: Omg! Does that mean my children are being hacked RIGHT NOW?!!!!
Beaten Scammer: *click*