Sunday, August 5, 2012

Flying talons of death

With the 2012 Presidential election rapidly approaching and other critical matters like the recent Chick-fil-A / gay marriage protests, I didn't have to go far to find something serious to talk about for this newest blog post:

My dog (again).

You know that famous old saying "I need a mentally unbalanced puppy like I need a hole in the head!"?

Well, this isn't really a saying... but now, thanks to their knife like claws, you can have both!

I discovered this seconds after stumbling to the bathroom mirror last night while yelling, "oh god, what just happened?!?!".

Corgis are the 11th smartest breed in the world and so our older, non-insane one knows when I say the words, "do you want a..." that it signifies "treat" and will bark excitedly in response.

The younger one is actually equally or even more intelligent and only needs to see me looking their way and ask the word, "do...".

He then knows this is his cue to strategically and carefully LOSE HIS FREAKING MIND.

Now I know that this can then be followed by him flying magically 15 feet from the corner of the room, over the older dog and onto my head while making sound effects like a Tasmanian Devil attacking a bullhorn.

If you've never had your temple punctured before by Velociraptor like talons, have you considered adopting a puppy?

Words to no longer say around Oliver: "Do", "You", "Want", "A", or "Treat"

I hope this at least heals up nice and ugly... I heard chicks dig scars.

1 comment:

  1. Clippers but watch the quick or take them to a groomer for a monthly clipping. It saves face.