When the devil went down to Georgia, God swung by Oregon...

 Thousands of unsuspecting Portlanders praying

Once upon a time... many, many... seriously... MANY years ago...

Me: Ohhhhhhhhh Lord, please see fit in any way possible to use me... a lowly and humble vessel... to show the world you are real and have a sense of humor... I just want to...

God: MY SON....

Me: God! Hi! I was just...

God: Yay, I have heard your petition and I will give you the gift of almost always being able to laugh and wanting to try to make others laugh...

Me: Whoah, nice! That's sounds pretty aweso...

God: ...despite constant painful trials and health problems that will go on for decades, possibly forever. It will be like Life itself is punching you in the face over and over and over and over and over, but yay, I will strengthen you to try your best to stay positive and laugh about it...

Me: Um, wait...

God: ...but finally there will be periods where that stops and it switches over to being like Life is just kicking you... full on kicking you in the groin with steel toed boots. Seriously, it's... it's gonna get bad, I'm not gonna lie to you. And yet you will somehow, someway try to stay joyful and keep a sense of humor, which is actually kinda weird...

Me: Wait... wait, what? WHAT? Can you... can go over that again? I don't...

God: ......................

Me: God?

God: ......................

Me:  Hello?! Hey! Don't go all silent! You were talking literally just seconds ago!

God: I work in mysterious ways.

Me: Oh, come oooooooon! I'd like... can we... can we switch that for another one? I'd really like...

God: Sorry, I... look, I already gave you that one. You have it. You have to keep that one.

Me: No! Come on! This is bullsh....  I mean, this is baloney! Switch it out for something else! Please!

God: ......................

Me:  ARGH! Whyyyyyyy?!

God: Maybe you should have been more specific when you started this prayer.